Tuesday, February 03, 2009

What is Butt Dust???

We have all been working hard getting ready for our Special Convention. Everyone is tired and in need of a lift. These were sent to me by a friend and they made me laugh out loud. It was a nice break

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What, you ask, is 'Butt dust?' Read on and you'll discover the joy in it!

These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: 'Mom, why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.'

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.'

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon...'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four-year-old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'

7 comments:

James said...

My favourite is "What happened to the flea."

Thanks for the laughs!

mspeer said...

Love these.

Sherry said...

Thanks for the perfect antidote to the hopefully last frigid day of the winter! Linky love headed your way!

Katie Sherrod said...

I loved the "What happened to the flea" comment as well. I will never hear the story of Lot again without laughing.

E H Culver said...

Hilarious!

E H Culver said...

The Rev. Barbara Kelton, a priest in the Diocese of Dallas, began a sermon with a great first line, "Recuerda que eres pollo, y a pollo volveras." It means, "Remember that you are chicken, and to chicken you shall return." The priest imposing ashes didn't speak much Spanish, and the difference between "pollo" and "polvo" didn't register with him. Surely someone clued him in later.

Darleen Strathy said...

I love this blog and especially the last one about BUTT DUST.....that is so wonderful how great children can be about the slightest little things and the humor that God gives us to get us through some trying and troublesome times! I appreciate this blog because it was honest, truthful and witty.....laughter is good medicine and don't we all need that once in a while! Again, Thank You bunches for this blog!!!